Posted in Social Issues

End of a Friendship

The way I thought I would tackle this piece was the way I thought this conversation would go along and how it actually went. But, before we do that, I need to explain how close I was to this particular friend, everyone in my family knows his name, even extended family, so he was a very dear friend, one I cared and worried about. To sum it up we shared a room while we were in college, and those who have shared room in college with their class fellow know how close these friendships are. Ever since Modi got elected, we were having these hot and cold runs because of our divided opinion on Modi as he is Bhakt. I had stopped replying to his calls and messages after a few fiery WhatsApp messages around Kashmir and leadership of Modi. But I didn’t call him as I thought that a hot head like me, should take some time to cool down before calling his friends. So I callled him when I thought I had cooled down… His words are italicised… and a disclaimer in the end… this happened a while back and I don’t have exact recollection of the call to the extent that I might have mixed content of two calls, but however the build up to the end of call, I remember exactly how the call ended.

This is how I thought the call would go like

Hi Ali.
Hi Friend.
So you finally called.
Yes, my friend. You have been asking me to call you to discuss.
Why do you oppose Modi in everything he does in Kashmir
Because he does everything wrong in Kashmir. With this he is not going to win hearts and mind. His policy on Kashmir is directed towards his Hard Right Hindutva Voter Base in Hindi Heartland rather than Kashmir. And that is why all his policies are wrong.
Why? What do you know about Kashmir?
I grew up in Kashmir, I know many Kashmiri Muslims, I used to share a room with a Kashmiri guy in Bombay. Kashmiris open to me quickly and frankly than they will ever open to you.
…. So on and so forth, I thought he would ask a question calmly and I would reply kindly. After all the reason I didn’t call him right after our angry exchanges was to keep our tempers from getting out of control….

But….this is how it actually went….

Hi Ali. (in somewhat drunk voice)
Hi Friend. Let me call later, looks like you are drunk.
No, its fine, I am okay. So you finally called.
Yes, my friend. You have been asking me to call you to discuss.
Why do you bring my grandfather in middle of this? [His Grandfather was a migrant from Pakistani Punjab side, but he was a great man and didn’t garner hatred towards Muslims, knowing that background and what my friend was doing, saying and posting (primarily Anti Muslims propaganda from Hindutva brigade), I had remarked that he is a disappointment to his grandfather.]
I have never ever said anything against your grandfather, I have always praised him.
You think he is a great guy because he didn’t hate Muslims.
I think he is a great guy in spite of what happened to him through hands of some Muslims. And you are a disappointment to him, because you are doing something he would have hated. Whenever you meet him, he is going to tell you that you are a disappointment. (I think he knew that this was the truth, and his grandfather would have never approved of his hatred and bigoted thinking. The pain that he felt in being a disappointment to his grandfather made him loose his temper and the conversation just went down the drain from there).
Moving on…… you guys want to kill us through COVID now? (during these days Tablighi Jamat was the flavour of hate in India, lots of unkind exchanges that resulted me in saying)
You are chutiya to believe that this is a conspiracy. (Chutiya was probably not right to say. Usually he would have passed it off as well. In my college I was known for having more gaalis in my vocabulary/sentences than words, and whenever I meet guys from college this vocabulary comes back)
Do you support CAA?
CAA along with NRC, No. Do you understand the chronology (famous Amit Shah chronology statement)
But CAA is different from NRC… you just an Anti National
I understand perfectly what combination of CAA-NRC does, you don’t understand the chronology.
No I don’t agree (This was again followed by unkind exchanges with tempers really high, and to end the argument I said)
Tu Chutiya hai aur main Chutiyon ko nahin samjha sakta.
He insisted on an answer that I was refusing to give because not only it was not a genuine question, but also because I had already said everything I had to say on the matter.
Nahin, main nahin samjha sakta, kyunki tu chutiya hai
And you are a bloody Talibani terrorist.
With that we ended our call and friendship….

In conclusion

I miss my friend and this is one more more reason to hate Modi.
Even if I were to accept that I started it by calling him Chutiya, I was in major gaali league during college and he has heard far worse from my mouth and I have heard far worse from his. Also, Chutiya was coming from a point he individually was coming from but terrorist came solely from my religious affiliation and not something I had done. Hence I have never called him back, and he has never called me.


Humanist, Muslim, Doabi, Hyderabadi, Londoner, European. Urdu Lover